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A deeper look

By Dr Sophie Jayamaha

Sensing 


I wish I could describe in words exactly my experience of this moment. I feel I am one of the most fortunate few on the planet to be in a place that I am right now. The view I see of calm waters of Morten Bay while I am sitting on the front deck of my residence in this early morning with the cool sea breeze caressing me one could forget all worries in the world. The temperature is just right for the skin. The sky is blue but crowded with fluffy grey clouds with tell tales of rain later in the day. The scene is continuously changing but each one is sensational.

The sounds are also pleasing to the ear in general except the domination this morning by a bird’s loud call coming from the tree in front of my house. It is a bit annoying, but I am managing to maintain my peace nevertheless. At the back ground I also hear the soothing sound of the water fountain on the deck. I am sipping my raspberry and blueberry smoothie I made as usual before my breakfast. It is cooling and soothing my throat and all the way down to my stomach. My body is also cooled down by the gentle wind, and my long slow breaths carrying cool air down the through my nose cooling my lungs. 

Feeling


While there are so many cooling processes are happening, there is one place I feel like a burning sensation, that is sitting closer to my heart impulse. This burning sensation is also feel like a burden to me. Keeps coming and going from time to time for many years. Until recently it is not going away and keep burning away. It feels heavy and tight too. It is right in the middle of the chest. I used to feel like this only when I had a failure or not receiving something I eagerly expecting. Right now I have no such obvious reason for this heavy feeling.

As I was feeling my sensations in the moment, suddenly the bird calling stopped and I feel even more peaceful. Yet my heavy sensation is felt persistently.

I was trying to look further and deeper into this uncomfortable yet familiar sensation. It was trying to tell me something and I kept ignoring it. The more I ignored it, the stronger it became.

I am not sad or angry or unhappy. I don't feel that I am lacking anything I need. Yet I am deep down feeling dissatisfaction and unfulfillment.

Knowing


I felt it as an impulse of nudge that I have to complete an unfinished job. The crafting job that I have been doing all along by chipping away the layers that was covering the true image.

This deeper knowing made me see the shape of what is underneath.

I began to chip away more and more. I am pleased to see that it is taking shape.

Realising

I saw that the truth is not in the image but in the space that holds the image. The image is a concept that we hold in space. I too am a concept in the deepest level of truth which I see only when I am opened to it.




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